Not What We'd Had In Mind

They've done it again!

Those goofballs at Los Alamos Laboratories, the same cut-ups who brought you the atomic bomb, have just found a new way to bring fissionable nuclear material into your life!

It's the private reactor! That's right, for just a nominal fee, you too can light your town with its very own micro-reactor! The Bush administration being a paradigm of efficiency when it comes to corporate profit, has moved quickly and the publicly produced research has already been licensed to privately owned Hyperion, which is taking orders right now!

They claim that it's totally safe, contains no weapons grade materials*, and can't be stolen- because it's encased in concrete and buried underground! As one researcher put it, it would be like trying to steal, "...a hot barbecue grill..." I can relate to barbecue grills! There's one on my porch right now, and it's pretty safe! Of course, mine runs on the 18th century's uranium equivalent, charcoal...

What could be better! This will show all those Left wing nutjobs ranting about "using less electricity" or trying to develop "green" or "renewable" power sources! Thank you, Bush administration, for pressing ahead with this valuable program rather than those other ones. Finally, my suburban standard of living is secure! Thank you, Los Alamos, for putting nuclear reactors closer to me, and those I care about.

*Reactor, which must be refilled every decade, may contain lots of other nasty stuff though. Please do not ask about storage/disposal of these products. LALALALALA we can't hear you. Please go away.