There was history in the air in Detroit yesterday as the Lions met the Green Bay Packers at Lambeau Field, where they were defeated 31-21 to complete the NFL's first winless season since the extension to 16 games. Hampered by completely avoidable penalties, the Lions certainly gave the game their all, but in some way that just made the spectacle worse. It was obvious that they were overmatched out there. Indeed, the season has made clear that there are more than a few players in Lions uniforms who wouldn't make the cut on any other team in the NFL.
I watched the game in one of Detroit's best sports bars, Coach's Corner on 7 Mile, which deserves the free publicity. It was packed with local fans, faithfully decked in Honolulu Blue, most of it showing obvious years of wear. You could feel the resignation mingling with the cigarette smoke- even when the Lions made decent plays, few seemed to believe that they could possibly add up to victory.
Truly, the Lions have earned their place as the worst football team ever to take the field. Yes, they have gone 0-16 this year, but they have only won 10 games in the last three years, and it has been 372 days sine their last tally in the W column. The only silver lining to this cumulonimbus cloud is the schadenfreude merchandising: see rebuilding since '57 (yes, that's 1957, but only because there was no football in the 19th century), or Detroit Lions: Pre-Season Champs. Also see the Detroit News' retrospective, "A Season To Forget."
Incredibly, there was serious debate yesterday as to whether or not Coach Rod Marinelli would keep his job after three years of consistent failure. In point of fact they did fire Marinelli this morning, but team owner William Clay Ford (yes, that Ford) comports himself like a hermit, and the Detroit faithful have no idea who he will hire, when, why, for how long, or according to what logic.
I want to end this piece on an upbeat note. There is only one way to go from here, or they can't get any worse. But truly, there is little to suggest that optimism is warranted. I had a serious debate with a fan a few days before the game, regarding the ambivalence of the Lions actually losing em all. In a way, it would be more Detroit-esque to win that last game, to snatch notoriety from the jaws of just another horrible season. While no team has ever managed to concentrate their failure into a single year so effectively, the Lions have been stumbling through professional sports for as long as I've been alive. Well, enjoy this one, Detroit. No such thing as bad press, right? Right? Hello?
Oh, and seriously, Mr. Ford, you need to think this over. Your ticket buying public isn't kidding anymore.
Showing posts with label Detroit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Detroit. Show all posts
Monday, December 29, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
Epic Fail
I don't know if any of you are football fans, but even if you are not, I feel attention should be paid to a team on the edge of infamy this year.
The Detroit Lions are well on their way toward becoming the first team to lose every single regular season game this year. There are some stories on the current state of the team, here describing how the quarterback is desperate for a single win, here about how local fans have failed to sell out 4 of the last 5 games in a relatively new stadium specifically built to enable sellouts after the absurdity of asking the Lions to regularly fill the Pontiac Silverdome's 83,000 seats.
It has been a bad year for the Lions- at 0-12, they've already fired their quarterback and replaced him, in mid-season, with 31-year old glass-boned Dante Culpepper, who started for the team like 72 hours after being hired and, judging by the size of the play cards on both his wrists, unsurprisingly still doesn't know the offense. He remains, nevertheless, a high point for the team this year. Revel here in the numerical explicitness of the Lion's failure, lingering over their bottom of the league placings in on both offense and defense, and the still shocking .000 win percentage.
The thing is, the Lions aren't just having a bad year- they have actually become an institution for the generation of mediocrity, ruining the careers of the highly talented draft picks their poor showings entitle them to each year. Think about it- who was the last great Lion since Barry Sanders, for whom Detroit can't take developmental credit anyway? He showed up the best running back in the league, and retired the best running back in the league, a year away from the rushing record, his years with the Lions having destroyed his enjoyment of the game. Yes, they've produced a couple of decent receivers over the years, but have not been able to translate them into wins. Or even playoff appearances.
So, Ahab like, I'll be watching the game this Sunday with a friend from Minnesota, who apparently wants someone to laugh at over his buffalo wings. The sports-talk radio station in Detroit, 97.1, hosted a conversation last week focused on who might buy the team for next year, what city they might move it to, and whom they should fire in what order. I'm right there with you, Detroit- this organization has been mediocre for as long as I've been alive, and downright horrible far too many years. Detroit Lions: what is wrong with you? This isn't baseball, where century-long losing streaks are possible- the salary cap and drafting system have tended to ensure a high degree of volatility. At least this year the Lions have managed to excel at something- even if that thing is the opposite of the reason this extremely expensive organization exists.
Lions, enjoy the bitter fruit of 2008. And then please: fire people, shake things up, move to Montana, start taking better steroids, start doing voodoo rituals before games, replace yourselves with cyborgs, disband the freaking team, but don't make me watch you do this again.
The Detroit Lions are well on their way toward becoming the first team to lose every single regular season game this year. There are some stories on the current state of the team, here describing how the quarterback is desperate for a single win, here about how local fans have failed to sell out 4 of the last 5 games in a relatively new stadium specifically built to enable sellouts after the absurdity of asking the Lions to regularly fill the Pontiac Silverdome's 83,000 seats.
It has been a bad year for the Lions- at 0-12, they've already fired their quarterback and replaced him, in mid-season, with 31-year old glass-boned Dante Culpepper, who started for the team like 72 hours after being hired and, judging by the size of the play cards on both his wrists, unsurprisingly still doesn't know the offense. He remains, nevertheless, a high point for the team this year. Revel here in the numerical explicitness of the Lion's failure, lingering over their bottom of the league placings in on both offense and defense, and the still shocking .000 win percentage.
The thing is, the Lions aren't just having a bad year- they have actually become an institution for the generation of mediocrity, ruining the careers of the highly talented draft picks their poor showings entitle them to each year. Think about it- who was the last great Lion since Barry Sanders, for whom Detroit can't take developmental credit anyway? He showed up the best running back in the league, and retired the best running back in the league, a year away from the rushing record, his years with the Lions having destroyed his enjoyment of the game. Yes, they've produced a couple of decent receivers over the years, but have not been able to translate them into wins. Or even playoff appearances.
So, Ahab like, I'll be watching the game this Sunday with a friend from Minnesota, who apparently wants someone to laugh at over his buffalo wings. The sports-talk radio station in Detroit, 97.1, hosted a conversation last week focused on who might buy the team for next year, what city they might move it to, and whom they should fire in what order. I'm right there with you, Detroit- this organization has been mediocre for as long as I've been alive, and downright horrible far too many years. Detroit Lions: what is wrong with you? This isn't baseball, where century-long losing streaks are possible- the salary cap and drafting system have tended to ensure a high degree of volatility. At least this year the Lions have managed to excel at something- even if that thing is the opposite of the reason this extremely expensive organization exists.
Lions, enjoy the bitter fruit of 2008. And then please: fire people, shake things up, move to Montana, start taking better steroids, start doing voodoo rituals before games, replace yourselves with cyborgs, disband the freaking team, but don't make me watch you do this again.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Detroit
So the debate over saving Detroit seems to be nearing a middle.
Both Mitt Romney and I grew up around Detroit, so can claim great authority when we opine on the state of American car manufacturing. The difference is that Mitt gets his opinions published in the NYT. Which doesn't really seem fair...but I digress.
His editorial pretty much says it all. The standard narrative runs something like: the Big Three have been running an unsustainable business model for decades now, hamstrung by their unions and seemingly hapless in the face of superior foreign designs. Of course they're failing, reduced to begging us to "buy American," in that we should prefer saving their jobs to purchasing the best available product.
The rub is that even though I find that narrative hard to disagree with, the implosion of the American auto industry would (will) plunge Michigan, already far from the shining economic center of the nation, into a financial wasteland of such remoteness it is hard to imagine how it will ever emerge. Think back to the portrait of the city of Flint in "Roger & Me." Flint is still like that, only more so. I shudder to imagine that malaise spreading across the entire state.
Bailing them out, again, won't save the companies for long. It will, however, stave off the day when Michigan plunges into financial collapse.
**UPDATE**
The AP reports that the bailout deal is on the verge of death, as "negotiations" are reduced to acrimonious finger pointing.
Here, another AP report does a better job of making my point from yesterday- if you think Michigan is in bad financial shape now, wait till the car companies fail and local municipalities lose 30% of their tax base. Numbers do so much to bolster an argument...
Both Mitt Romney and I grew up around Detroit, so can claim great authority when we opine on the state of American car manufacturing. The difference is that Mitt gets his opinions published in the NYT. Which doesn't really seem fair...but I digress.
His editorial pretty much says it all. The standard narrative runs something like: the Big Three have been running an unsustainable business model for decades now, hamstrung by their unions and seemingly hapless in the face of superior foreign designs. Of course they're failing, reduced to begging us to "buy American," in that we should prefer saving their jobs to purchasing the best available product.
The rub is that even though I find that narrative hard to disagree with, the implosion of the American auto industry would (will) plunge Michigan, already far from the shining economic center of the nation, into a financial wasteland of such remoteness it is hard to imagine how it will ever emerge. Think back to the portrait of the city of Flint in "Roger & Me." Flint is still like that, only more so. I shudder to imagine that malaise spreading across the entire state.
Bailing them out, again, won't save the companies for long. It will, however, stave off the day when Michigan plunges into financial collapse.
**UPDATE**
The AP reports that the bailout deal is on the verge of death, as "negotiations" are reduced to acrimonious finger pointing.
Here, another AP report does a better job of making my point from yesterday- if you think Michigan is in bad financial shape now, wait till the car companies fail and local municipalities lose 30% of their tax base. Numbers do so much to bolster an argument...
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